REQUIEM

Evan sat impatiently at the table fiddling with a cup of coffee his mother poured him. He continuously shifted his weight in order to get comfortable. He was anxious and fidgety and blamed it on two imaginary cups of coffee he had earlier in the day. He stared down into the mug watching the coffee spiral as he slowly stirred it with a spoon. As far as his mother knew, he was still employed because he couldn’t find the courage to tell her he had lost another job. He could see the pain in his mother’s eyes, all those sleepless nights filled with worry had taken its toll. Evan looked back down into his mug, grasping it with both hands he raised the mug to his face and took a sip.

She told Evan that it was good to see him and he wished that he could say the same. Evan understood that this scenario was meant to bring joy to him, he should be happy while visiting his mother, but no matter how hard he tried he could not summon the emotion. “How has work been going sweetheart?” Leah asked, knowing that Evan had lost his job; she would settle for an artificial conversation with her son than no conversation. Evan’s brain processed the question and he turned to his cheat sheet, his current string of lies dating back to the day he had acquired the job. He answered as vaguely as he could to allow his brain time to create a story. Evan strained to tell his mother about this fictional work place; he knew it would be much easier just to tell her that he had been fired or that this job never existed and that it was all made up. He couldn’t remember if he was working at an imaginary office or if he was simply fired from a real job. His throne of lies had become too expanse for his recollection.

Evan glanced at his phone repeatedly, every second felt like an hour. He wondered how much more time he would have to sit with his mother until she would give him money. If it took longer than fifteen minutes he would insist that he had somewhere to be and that he wished he could stay longer. Somewhere deep down Evan did want to stay longer, he was unaware of it though. All of his focus was devoted to procuring his drugs for the day. In his eyes that was the only thing that mattered.

Evan nursed his coffee for twenty-five minutes, his mother had given him the money and he decided to wait a few minutes before sprinting out the door. He thought this would convey gratitude and appreciation but his mother knew better. Leah walked her son to the door and embraced him as if it was the last time she’d be able to. “I love you mom” he muttered as he stood there in her arms, “I love you too Ev” she responded, refusing to let go.

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