Do you walk around with a running to do list in your head? Do you have dread, anxiety, or bitterness about your to do list? Are you avoiding distasteful, overwhelming, or scary items in your life?
Here is a quick how to tutorial to implement in your life NOW if you are ready!
1. PREPARE YOUR STATE
- Have a thirst quenching desire for change.
- Have a deep burn in the belly desire to grow.
- Be committed to a radical life-change and accept this will take time
Think about people who work out. Do they do it for one day, and expect to be in, or stay in, shape? Do you think when it’s dark outside, frigid cold, and they are tired, they wake up excited to go work out?
People who get in shape, do so because they do it over, and over, and over, week after week, month after month…..to change their lives. A weak constitution will not talk them out of bed and into the gym!
We must have a burn in the belly and strong desire for CHANGE.
People stay in shape because they continue to do it over, and over, and over, as a way of life. It becomes a habit. Brush teeth. Shower. Brush hair. Get dressed. Work out.
Training our minds is EXACTLY the same as training our bodies!
2. CHANGE YOUR MIND
- Drop the idea there are any quick fixes (this diet, that pill, this person, if only this …. then I will be happy). ERROR. Life does not work this way.
- Drop the idea you are bad, wrong, lazy and any other name calling that comes to mind. ERROR. You are magnificent! Sometimes we forget this and drift into slumber and engage in thoughts, choices and actions that obscure our magnificence.
- Drop the idea that you can do this once, or for a week, and that you will be changed forever. ERROR. Growth is a life long process. Like the flower it has cycles. Life rests. Life springs forward. Life retracts inward. Life blooms magnificently but only when the other phases are realized.
When a negative thought pops up, replace it. “I am lazy” replace with “I am energized and ready to start my day”.
Do this over, and over, and over; especially if you don’t mean it, and don’t really feel this way!
NOW SAY IT 1,000 MORE TIMES. GO AHEAD.
Believe it or not, you think a 1,000 negative things about you or the world around you every day. Don’t think so? GOOD. GO AHEAD AND PROVE YOURSELF WRONG.
Get a pad and paper and keep it in your pocket. Each negative thought, give yourself a star! Why a star? We will get to that later. GO AHEAD. Do it for just ONE HOUR.
Thoughts like “this sucks, I don’t like her, this election, those people, that driver, her shorts, damn pollen, stupid moron, I can’t, this is crap, no one can do this, I don’t want to”.
So every time one of these thoughts pops up – give yourself a STAR and think GREAT JOB! Why is simple. Each thought you are tuned into, is one step in your life, that you are aware of, and taking note of, what goes on in your mind. Good Job. Too many us live in auto-pilot totally unaware of the thought streaming in the background of our minds.
Awareness is as important as Desire.
Now flip these thoughts. “I hate her” to “I want to be happy does my thought I hate her bring me joy? If the snarky ego giggles YES YES YES, then own it. I want to hate her/him because it makes my ego feel good to hate him/her.”
No follow up with “Isn’t that interesting. Am I willing to change like I said I wanted to?”
Consider this. The EGO is grounded in fear. If the ego wants to hate then it is afraid. So ask “what am I afraid of that makes me hate her/him?” The EGO may rebel and insist this is bullshit, do it anyway.
It may look like “I am afraid her/him will hurt my feelings, interfere in my plans, not give me what I want, be a jerk toward me again, talk behind my back….”
Keep going and see if something clicks. I promise it’s in there.
Once you recognize the FEAR then you can heal it.
Flip “I am afraid they may interfere in my plans (whatever reason you came up with) to for example:
- They may interfere with my plans.
- I am strong.
- I have found creative ways around things like this before.
- I will figure this out.
- Hating them only agitates my mind and frees my ego. I want to be happy.
- I want a free mind where they have no power.
- Maybe they are just being them and it is not personal.
- If I was not here they would probably do this to someone else.
- Maybe it is personal. What does it matter?
- I can still be free if I want to by letting go of hate.
- I am happy.
- I choose happiness.
3. PUT IT ASIDE
Most things in our life can be resolved with the above techniques. However, perhaps not all!
So those big ones, just put them aside.
If every time a person or situation comes to mind and triggers a negative reaction then try this:
- I am going to put this thought aside.
- I choose to feed happiness and not negativity.
- I do not understand this reaction within me.
- I want to make them/that wrong.
- I want to blame them.
- So for now I choose to focus on a happy thought; this thought is leading to more upset.
- I trust, in time, more understanding will come.
- I trust I am creative and willing and open and therefore this will work itself out.
- For now, thinking about it is a waste of precious energy.
- I choose to be happy and instead focus on a happy thought or memory.
4. STICK WITH IT ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU DON’T WANT TO
GO AHEAD. DO IT NOW.
Over and Over and Over.
- It is this simple. Yes so let’s go.
- It is much work. Who said life was not work?
- You are tired. Good for you keep going.
- The world does not understand. Good for you keep going.
- This is bullshit. Good for you keep going.
- You don’t want to. Good for you do anyway.
The path to joy is one of choice. Every doubt, every thought, every fear is a part of the journey. Notice these things. Do not judge, only notice. Now keep going in the direction of happiness.